Fear of Failure

The fear of failure is a set of paralyzing mental/emotional habits that often lead a person to inactivity. This fear seems to come up most strongly in regards to career development and intimate relationships. There is a feeling that all actions are futile and will inevitably be doomed to failure. People who fear failure have great difficulty in taking positive steps forward towards a goal. Instead, they feel frozen, self-limiting, and very self-critical. Their minds seem to hold a failure feedback loop that repeats expressions like, “What’s the use?”, “I’m just no good at this”, or “I just can’t do this” in an endless stream.

For some people, the fear of failure pattern is more subtle. These people work hard, not to succeed, but to avoid failure. They tend to stay in safe mediocre jobs, afraid that a bolder plan will inevitably lead to failure. There is a fear comfort zone, which isn’t comfortable but it is a familiar habit known as a rut.

Some of the physical effects of fear of failure are physical fatigue and excessive sleeping. Sleep is a way to avoid facing the fearful action. Fearful people often are made late by their avoidance behavior and then feel resentful when they have disappointed people, as if the world is against them. This sense of resentment and anger is made worse by the ironic knowledge that most people who have a fear of failure are well aware that they are not living up to their own potential.

Although the fear of failure pattern can be something that is a habit acquired from childhood, it is also a habit that can be overcome by taking certain simple steps towards success.

STEP #1: FACE THE FEAR

The best way to overcome the childhood fear of the shadow of a giant in the room was to turn on the light. In order to face this fear, we must look at it in the light of reason. We must acknowledge fear is present and come to terms with it. What does this fear look like, feel like, and what is the worst this fear would do to you? Once you can get things moving in the mind, the habit is not frozen into a pattern but is an analysis of possible scenarios. Generally, the worst that can happen, when looked at carefully, can be faced. Journal the fear, talk to a willing listener, or chat with the cat, until the fear is clarified and no longer crystallized. Once you have defined the reasons for the fear, then you can take steps to work through it.

STEP #2: TAKE TINY STEPS TOWARDS SUCCESS

Begin to outline small, reasonable steps that can symbolize a commitment to a new goal of action. Since fear of failure generally leads to avoidance and inactivity, it is important to begin anew and take small steps towards success on a regular basis. Taking action will unfreeze the paralysis of will. Record these success steps and keep repeating them until the next step can be taken. Don’t take on something too large, make sure it seems manageable. Each step will reinforce a sense of confidence and send a message to the brain of “I think I can, I think I can.”

STEP #3 REDEFINE SUCCESS

While taking those tiny steps towards success, study the lives of some successful people. What will be discovered is that they were old friends with failure. However, they see failure as an inevitable part of the path toward success. It is quite simply seen as learning from one’s mistakes. A great example is the inventor Thomas Edison. When questioned about why he was experiencing such failure at inventing the electric light bulb, he responded that he hadn’t failed he’d just discovered 500 ways how not to invent the light bulb! One of his famous quotes was “I failed my way to success.”

Successful people are positive and they persevere. They understand that failure is a mistaken set of attitudes and actions, it is not an all pervasive state of being. People do fail but no one can truly be a failure. Failing at an attempt is not fun, but it is instructive. As Napoleon Hill has aptly said, “Every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent success.”